Random Freak Sighting

I have to tell you about this guy that's come into work a couple of times in the last week. He has red hair that looks like he stuck his tongue in a toaster, and the most bizarre facial hair I have ever seen. It has the same tongue-in-toaster look, and I guess you would call it mutton chops, but they go all the way to his chin, and there's just a strip of no hair. Honestly, I know that makes no sense, but I can't describe it any better than that. Then, he wears this weird necklace. It's really long, and it has all this random shit strung on it. Natural stuff mostly, like shells, and I think that's it's made of hemp. And then, to top it off, he talks like Crush from Finding Nemo. So, I'm assuming he's a burn out.

The first time he came in, he was asking about cigarettes, and he asked me if ours were expensive. I told him they were (because they are), and he asked if he would be better off going to the gas station across the street. I told him he would, and he asked for a price on one of the packs. I told him the price, and he agreed that he would be better off going to the gas station. Then, he goes, "Thanks, for being honest, you're da bomb." And then, he fist bumped me! Seriously, who does that?

Then, the other day, he came in again, on his break from work. I think he told me where he worked, but I don't remember. Anyway, this time he bought a drink and a pack of cigarettes (Newport shorts, I think). I gave him his total, and he said, "What about my employee discount?" Of course, my response was "Oh, you work for [name withheld for legal reasons], too?" He said no, but asked if it worked like that, if he could get a discount at any [name withheld] store by working at one of them. I said yes, and he said, "Maybe I should get a job here so I can get some [random item on checkout that I don't remember now] on the low-low." 

So, now, I seriously can't wait to see what he does and says the next time he comes in. I'm like obsessed with this weirdo. He's better than t.v.! And, if he shaved and lost the weed-freak jargon, he'd be kind of cute, I think. But that may just be because I've got a thing for gingers. Just to prove how obsessed I am, I'll tell you that I even remember his birthday. 08-12-1989. Now, I'll add to that, I'm not some creepy person who generally remembers people's birthdays, or other random facts about them, but every now and then, someone catches my attention enough that I do remember weird thing like that. But as a general rule, I'm not a stalker.