Well, That Sucks

I honestly can't remember the last time I had an actual crush on an actual guy. I've had plenty of celebrity  crushes, sure, but I haven't met a guy in a long time that I really fell for, you know. And, that was something that I was kind of proud of; I felt like... I don't know... like I was safe. I can't explain it. If I don't crush on some guy, I can't break my own heart because he doesn't know I exist.

Anyway, I goofed.

Remember the nerd squad from my Milton class? Well, I've had a particular thing for one of them since the beginning of the semester, but I didn't really think about it. Sure, I thought he was the cutest. Sure, I'd daydream about him sometimes. Sure, I listened to what he was saying. Sure, I wanted him to notice me. But it wasn't anything more than a slight attraction. Right?

Nope. I realized yesterday when I caught myself really wanting to tell E---- all about him that it was a full blown crush.

Worse, the semester is almost over. Meaning that after the second week of December, I'll probably never see him again. Which sucks. Because I really like him. Ugh. Why did I decide to grow feeling now?

So, I admit that I have a crush on M----, and that I foresee myself needing ice cream to recover. But hey, maybe I'll get lucky. Maybe I'll get the guy for once. Haha. That's so unlikely I can't type it with a straight face. I'll let you know when I start my therapy session with Doctors Ben and Jerry. 

A Little Flirting on the Clock

As you've probably noticed, I pretty much spend all my time at work. In consequence, most of the interesting interaction I have with the opposite sex occur when I'm on the clock.

One night, a week or so ago, this really cute guy who works at the supermarket behind the pharmacy I work in, came in to buy some cigarettes on his break. He was tall, tan, sandy haired, and blue-eyed with a smooth, sweet smile, so I promptly melted into an awkward puddle of goo.

I smiled at him, and just checked him out as I would anyone else, because, let's face facts, I suck at flirting. So, imagine the way my heart fluttered when he asked me how my night was going, after we were done with our transaction. Be still my beating heart!

We talked for a few minutes, albeit awkwardly, until the old lady who was passive-aggressively looking at the candy bars made things feel really weird. He told me to have a good night, gave me one last smile (to make sure I was good and melted, I'm sure), and walked out the door.

Apparently, forever, because he hasn't been back. At least not on any of my shifts. Which sucks. Because while I suck at flirting, I'd really like to give awkward small talk with him another try.

By the way, his name was S------, on the off chance that I get to write a sequel to this post. (But I never do, so don't hold your breath.)

(Not so) Random Cute Guy(s) Sighting: Nerd Squad Edition

This semester I'm taking a 400 level class on Milton, and there are a couple of really cute super nerds in my class. It's a really small class, so we all talk before class begins, and everyone always says something to the effect of "I really don't want to be here." But, for me, I'm happy to be there because the Nerd Squad is adorable!

There's M----, the tat'ed, pierced, cool-looking guy who studies Latin and philosophy.
There's S---, the adorable dork who seems like he would hold your hand and do cute couple-y stuff without being forced.
There's L----, the ironically hip, quiet guy who is really entertaining when he speaks.
And, there's M---, the sincerely intelligent, average guy.

I don't actually know any of their relationship statuses, but they like Supernatural, Doctor Who, Syfy, and Paradise Lost. So, basically, they're all boyfriend material. Which probably means they're all very, extremely taken.

Also, I sincerely hope (though it's highly unlikely) that if any of them were to see this, they would be flattered and not creeped out.

Crush-worthy Guy Alert

There's this guy that has a PO Box at the Post Office station in our store, and I think I could really be in danger of having an actual crush on him. He's young, probably late twenties, and nice looking. His hands are rough and usually dirty from work, He owns his own landscaping business. And on top of owning a fairly successful business of his own, he comes from money, so my inner gold-digger is intrigued. Beyond that, though, he seems like a really nice, down-to-earth kind of guy. He's polite and always speaks when he sees one of us that work in the store.

Unfortunately, I've got no idea how to get him talking. I know that once he gets started, getting him to stop is a chore, but I can't get a conversation going. So, I guess I'll just settle for smiling at him everyday and giving him his change. Mine is a pathetic way of life.

Unattainable crush of the Week

This week I've chosen another hockey player, and this one is actually pretty special to me. He's the reason I decided to be a Preds fan instead of a Tampa fan.

Why, you ask? Why, because he and I have a connection.

What kind of connection, you ask? We were both born on the exact same day. And since I've never come across anyone else born on 10-20-1989, I decided that it was fate that I become a Colin Wilson and Nashville Predators fan.

So, in recognition of a frequently overlooked player, this is Colin's week. Because even if he doesn't get to play much, he's one of (if not my very) favorite NHL'ers.

He always looks like he's having fun with the fans, especially when there are little kids, but Google refused to show me any pictures of him with little kids, so here's this one instead. Point being, he's good with fans, good with kids, and a-freaking-dorable!

He literally always looks this happy. In my head, he's the guy that's just happy to be there and is just all-around good-natured. Also, somewhere on YouTube, there's an interview of him where he says he believes in love at first sight. I don't care if he was joking or not, that makes me swoon more than a little bit.

This picture is really just here because of the way Shea Weber looks. But Willie is adorable in it, and so happy. I bet he said something dumb, and Weber couldn't believe he said it.

This picture also has nothing to do with the reason that it represents, but here we go. He has two years of a college education. And he's an American citizen. Which means he could be president, but Nick Spaling and Patric Hornqvist could not. What I'm really trying to say here is I can't find the video of those three answering Terry Crisp's random questions, but it's one of the funniest things ever because apparently, none of them can work a computer, either, and Colin is the only one man enough to admit it.

This article should be titled "Colin Wilson: The Most Adorable Pred"

Because that's pretty much what it's about. Apparently, in addition to our birthday, we also share the ability to forget pretty much any and every important detail.

So, I realize that this has been a little longer than usual, but this guy is just so cute. Some of my other UCs are on the list purely because they make me have dirty, dirty thoughts, but this guy, I want to kiss his cheek and hold his hand. (And lots of other less-fit-for-print things, too.) 

*Edit: Due to a copyright issue, I had to remove one of the images I was using. It has been replaced with a placeholder until I can go back and re-make it.

With Friends Like That, I'd Be Better Off With Enemies

There's this man, old man, that works next door to the drugstore I work at, and he buys his cigarettes from us. He also has a not so subtle crush on me. He's 51. That's 5 years older than my dad. And he works part-time at a fast food chain, has been evicted twice in the last year, and is greasy, icky, gross, skeezy.

So, pretty much every time he comes in, my coworkers find a way to make me talk to him. Tonight I was zoning the back when E----- paged me to the front. I didn't see him until it was too late to turn around and hide, so I had to go up to ask what she needed even though U------ was up there and could have taken care of anything she needed. When I asked what she needed (I was already pretty sure of the answer), she said that J--- just wanted to speak to me and make my day.

The whole time J--- was talking, I was glaring daggers at U------ and E-----. If I could have killed them then, I would have. He just kept talking about going home to bake a cheesecake (which they were quick to tell him I liked and would love to try), and how his online classes are going.

Eventually, he ran out of things to say (twice) and he just stood there looking at me awkwardly while I imagined U------ and E----- spontaneously combusting.

Finally, an old couple walked up and asked me where something was. Now, I knew we didn't have what they wanted, and I knew exactly where it would be if we carried it, but I insisted on helping them look for it as though it might actually be there. I pretty much ran to the back with them without even acknowledging that I was walking away from a conversation.

The lady even said that they didn't mean to interrupt, but I told her it was fine. Then, when I walked back up front, I made absolutely certain that J--- was already gone. Then, I proceeded to berate my "friends."

Unattainable Crush of the Week

My apologies, but with NHL Playoffs beginning, hockey has pretty much taken over my life, so bear with me for the next couple of weeks while I go full on puck bunny. (I promise, I do really like and enjoy the sport, but some of those guys are just distractingly hot. Also, according to SpellCheck, "distractingly" is not a word, but I'm a rebel.)

Anyway, this week, since I've already sung the praises of Nashville's Shea Weber, I'm going to pick someone from my second favorite team, the Chicago Blackhawks. For the sake of full-disclosure, I became a fan of this team pretty much totally based on YouTube videos. Seriously, go YouTube them and don't fall in love with the whole team... go on, I'll wait.

Done? Didn't I tell you? Funny right?

So, all that to say this, my crush this week is Patrick Kane.

Kane is not the kind of guy I normally am attracted to; he's a skinny kid from Buffalo who (according to YouTube and Tumblr) spends quite a lot of his time drunk. BUT... he's so freaking funny, and he has that charming I-know-I-did-something-wrong-but-you-can't-stay-mad-at-this-face grin that drives me wild. Also, scrawny or not, he's talented. His shootout goal Saturday was freaking amazing!

Reason 1: His sense of humor, and his talent.

Reason 2: His mad dance skills... which is the same as saying his sense of humor

Reason 3: His freaking adorable smile. And the obscene way he chews on his mouthpiece.

Bonus: His tongue. Go watch pretty much any interview with him, and I can almost guarantee he'll be teasing you the whole time. I'm beginning to notice this seems to be a hockey player trait because he's not the only one guilty.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week 6- Steven Stamkos

He's one of the leading scorers in the NHL... and he's not even 23. Pretty damn impressive, I think. Here's my case:

Tell me that you don't think he could take you. Any way.

He scores... a lot. That's sexy.

It's true. All he needs is a noble steed and a crown.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week Five- Ian Somerhalder


He's my favorite vampire. And he's a southern boy.

He was involved in the clean up effort in the Gulf of Mexico after the BP oil spill.

I can't help but melt for that cocky bastard smirk.

His eyes. They're beautiful.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week number 4's crush is Ryan Gosling. I've thought this one was adorable since Remember the Titans. I'll be honest, though, I've never seen The Notebook. And Drive made me want to be sick. But, hey, he's still really hot. Here are my reasons:

He broke up a street fight just because he could. That took balls.

He loves his dog. 

He used to be a Mouseketeer! Being a Disney addict, that makes him about a thousand times more attractive to me.

"Seriously!? It's like you're photo-shopped!" Thank you, I couldn't have said it better myself, Emma.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week Three- Taylor Kitsch


He's Tim Riggins, Gambit, and now, he's John Carter. Those three roles should be reason enough, but in case you need more persuading:

He looks good with sexy, dirty, long hair, and he looks good with sexy, short, "grown up" hair.

The smoldering look is HOT! 

Really? Do I need a reason to go along with this picture, or can we just agree?

So go see this movie on March 9th. it was a really, really, really good book, and I'm hoping they didn't ruin it. But even if they did, he's shirtless for pretty much the whole thing, so isn't it worth it?

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week 2- Travis Clark


So, week number two, my pick is Travis Clark, 6'3" ginger lead singer of We the Kings (great band, by the way). Here's my case:

He plays guitar... and piano... and he sings... and he's good at it.

How can you not swoon at that smile? It basically says, "Take me home to meet your parents because they will love me even if I am a rock star with a billion tattoos."

Now, what was the last reason? Hmmm... oh yeah, THE HAIR! I mean, just look at it! I just want to touch it, and the fact that it's ginger is a super plus (for me at least).

Unattainable Crush of the Week

As the title suggests, I am going to share one of my totally unattainable, ridiculous crushes each week.

Week 1- Shea Weber

So why did I pick the Nashville Predators' 6'4" captain? I'm glad you asked.

Because he fills out a suit just right.

Because his aggression on the ice is super sexy.

And, because in this picture he is wearing a grandpa shirt, birth control glasses, and has insane-hermit facial hair, and I would still love to do unspeakable things to him.