Today Was "The Most"

It was. I thought I was exhausted having not gone to sleep until 3:30 am until I checked facebook and N---- hadn't gotten home from the club until 6 am. That was my first clue that today was just going to be stupid. The two of us do stupid stuff when we aren't dog tired, but both of us dog tired working all day shifts. Go ahead and write it off as a dumbass day.

Then, customers just kept doing stupid shit. One man brought in a floppy disk to see if we could process pictures stored on it. Let me run that by you again. He had a floppy disk. I literally saw it and thought, "What the fuck is that?" That's how long it's been since they've been relevant. And that was one of the more pleasant dumbass moments of the day.

One woman asked me 87 questions. While I was trying to walk through the store to the restroom.
I couldn't remember how to do the morning paperwork.
It took me like four hours to put all the sale signs up in the vitamin section.
A woman asked me a question about phone cards. I told her I didn't know anything about them, that the company I work for doesn't do anything but sell them, and that she would have to call the customer service number on the back of the card. And she still kept asking me about the stupid cards! For half an hour! WTF?!
The some grown-ass men came in and started bouncing the balls that we have in one of those weird bungee cord cage things. It pisses me off when little kids do it. Turns out, it pisses me off more when grown-ass men do it.

But all of that to say that today, during "the most" bizarre day I've had in a while, I am almost certain I checked out D-----, one of the local hockey players. And instead of asking if it was him, or making conversation, or flirting, I stared at him like he had six heads.

What the hell am I doing!? He was cute. He may have been a hockey player. He had epic facial hair. He had a nice voice. And all I did was ask if he had one our cards, give him his total, and tell him to have a great day! All while staring at him with this goofy-ass grin.

Excuse the French I'm using liberally today, but FUCK! No wonder I'm single. I've got about as much game as  a dead sloth.

Honestly, the best thing I can say about the whole thing is that he smiled at me the whole time I was staring at him. I'd love to have a do-over.

Unattainable crush of the Week

This week I've chosen another hockey player, and this one is actually pretty special to me. He's the reason I decided to be a Preds fan instead of a Tampa fan.

Why, you ask? Why, because he and I have a connection.

What kind of connection, you ask? We were both born on the exact same day. And since I've never come across anyone else born on 10-20-1989, I decided that it was fate that I become a Colin Wilson and Nashville Predators fan.

So, in recognition of a frequently overlooked player, this is Colin's week. Because even if he doesn't get to play much, he's one of (if not my very) favorite NHL'ers.

He always looks like he's having fun with the fans, especially when there are little kids, but Google refused to show me any pictures of him with little kids, so here's this one instead. Point being, he's good with fans, good with kids, and a-freaking-dorable!

He literally always looks this happy. In my head, he's the guy that's just happy to be there and is just all-around good-natured. Also, somewhere on YouTube, there's an interview of him where he says he believes in love at first sight. I don't care if he was joking or not, that makes me swoon more than a little bit.

This picture is really just here because of the way Shea Weber looks. But Willie is adorable in it, and so happy. I bet he said something dumb, and Weber couldn't believe he said it.

This picture also has nothing to do with the reason that it represents, but here we go. He has two years of a college education. And he's an American citizen. Which means he could be president, but Nick Spaling and Patric Hornqvist could not. What I'm really trying to say here is I can't find the video of those three answering Terry Crisp's random questions, but it's one of the funniest things ever because apparently, none of them can work a computer, either, and Colin is the only one man enough to admit it.

This article should be titled "Colin Wilson: The Most Adorable Pred"

Because that's pretty much what it's about. Apparently, in addition to our birthday, we also share the ability to forget pretty much any and every important detail.

So, I realize that this has been a little longer than usual, but this guy is just so cute. Some of my other UCs are on the list purely because they make me have dirty, dirty thoughts, but this guy, I want to kiss his cheek and hold his hand. (And lots of other less-fit-for-print things, too.) 

*Edit: Due to a copyright issue, I had to remove one of the images I was using. It has been replaced with a placeholder until I can go back and re-make it.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

My apologies, but with NHL Playoffs beginning, hockey has pretty much taken over my life, so bear with me for the next couple of weeks while I go full on puck bunny. (I promise, I do really like and enjoy the sport, but some of those guys are just distractingly hot. Also, according to SpellCheck, "distractingly" is not a word, but I'm a rebel.)

Anyway, this week, since I've already sung the praises of Nashville's Shea Weber, I'm going to pick someone from my second favorite team, the Chicago Blackhawks. For the sake of full-disclosure, I became a fan of this team pretty much totally based on YouTube videos. Seriously, go YouTube them and don't fall in love with the whole team... go on, I'll wait.

Done? Didn't I tell you? Funny right?

So, all that to say this, my crush this week is Patrick Kane.

Kane is not the kind of guy I normally am attracted to; he's a skinny kid from Buffalo who (according to YouTube and Tumblr) spends quite a lot of his time drunk. BUT... he's so freaking funny, and he has that charming I-know-I-did-something-wrong-but-you-can't-stay-mad-at-this-face grin that drives me wild. Also, scrawny or not, he's talented. His shootout goal Saturday was freaking amazing!

Reason 1: His sense of humor, and his talent.

Reason 2: His mad dance skills... which is the same as saying his sense of humor

Reason 3: His freaking adorable smile. And the obscene way he chews on his mouthpiece.

Bonus: His tongue. Go watch pretty much any interview with him, and I can almost guarantee he'll be teasing you the whole time. I'm beginning to notice this seems to be a hockey player trait because he's not the only one guilty.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week 6- Steven Stamkos

He's one of the leading scorers in the NHL... and he's not even 23. Pretty damn impressive, I think. Here's my case:

Tell me that you don't think he could take you. Any way.

He scores... a lot. That's sexy.

It's true. All he needs is a noble steed and a crown.

Random Cute Guy Sighting

Cute, not hot, because I'm not sure if he's old enough for me to legally call him hot.

Anyway, I'm a hockey fan, so I go to the local team's games as often as I can. Now, I'm sure that I'll talk about the players at some point. Maybe to commemorate the last game of the season next week, but they aren't the focus of this post.

This post is dedicated to the Zamboni driver. He is adorable! The only downside to his good looks is that I can't tell how old he is. I've come to the conclusion that he must be between the ages of 16 and 26. I feel like he probably has to be at least over eighteen to drive that thing for insurance purposes, if not over 21, but he just looks so young. But, yeah, he's a cutie, and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate it.

Single Problems

There's a hockey game tomorrow night, and my friend* and I have been planning to go together for two weeks now. Longer, really, because we go to pretty much every game together unless one of us has to work. Anyway, I asked him tonight if we had a game plan for tomorrow yet, and he said that he might not be going because he might have a date. Excuse me?

I asked where he might be going on his date (with a guy he's never met before), and he said that he wanted to go to the hockey game. So... what he really meant was, I'm not going with you. And, if he goes and I go, too, then one of us will have to sit somewhere other than our regular seats. WFT?

Believe me, I'm going now, come Hell or high water. And, I'm sitting in my damn seat.

The problem with my righteous indignation? My best friend has to work, and he's my other hockey friend. So, I'm having to press gang my younger sister, who doesn't like hockey, into going. Oh yeah, and I don't have a date. Bollocks!

*In the spirit of full disclosure, he's gay, so I'm not jealous that he's going on a date, I'm freaking pissed that he is ditching me for some random guy that he met online.