My Eyes Are Up Here

Every girl has dealt with it at some point. You're just minding your own business, and suddenly, you realize that some middle-aged, married man is ogling your boobs. So, here's my take on it.

I don't mind the staring, because as soon as I walk away I'm going to start talking about what a skeeze he was, and the more openly he does it, the funnier the story. That said, I don't stare at guys' neatly wrapped packages in public, and girls who do are called sluts by most people, so why is it ok for a man twice my age to stare at my chest? And, it's not just older men, it's the whole age spectrum from puberty on up. (Just to cover my ass, I'm aware that not every guy ogles women.)

Also, any guy I catch ogling is immediately in the red as far as attractiveness goes. Even the guys on my Unattainable list would become seriously less appealing because it's just tasteless.

My favorite story about this, though, is from when I was working in Disney World. My costume (uniform) was hideous and had an apron, so it didn't in any way accentuate my bust (which is rather large). I was running the register, and this boy (between ages 10-12) was ordering. My boobs were at eye level for him, and he never looked up from them. I was grinning, thinking about how I was going to tell my friends later, and then, the story got ten times better. His dad was staring at the exact same place his son was! It was priceless! It would have been a perfect internet meme.

So, in conclusion, fellas, feel free to keep staring... if that's as far as you ever want to get with a decent broad. And, ladies, laugh in their faces next time, and they'll be the ones embarrassed. Problem solved.