Ridiculously Excitable

Just so you know, I obsessively check my blog stats, and I get crazy excited over like two pageviews. But what really makes me want to scream like a little girl is the audience page where it tells me where in the world the views are coming from. It blows my mind that anyone is reading this, but knowing that people all over the world have read/looked at anything I've done... just... ahhh! I love it! So, thank you so much for checking this out!

Oh, and I'm a little curious, is any of the stuff I say relevant to your lives where you live? Or am I just some weird sideshow-freak type read? Let me know. (And yes, that is a shameless ploy to get comments, since that's one stat I have 0 of...)

Thanks!
MHXGuide

Maybe Work on the Approach a Little

Friday night, after the hockey game, the team stuck around to sign autographs. Now, my sister is an autograph fanatic, so she and her friend waited to get their team posters signed. My friend and I opted out of the autograph signings because if we actually meet them, they're real people, and it's more fun to imagine them than actually think of the real person.

So, while we waited for Kate and Lindsey, Anna and I walked around the park because it was a BEAUTIFUL night. There's a road that cuts the park in half, and we were walking along it about to head back to my car when this guy walks up behind us and says something really quick so neither of us understood him. We stepped off the sidewalk, thinking he wanted by, but he just kept standing there looking at us. Then, he said (mostly to his shoes), "I was wondering... if maybe.. you'd liketogooutfor dinner with... menmifrend."

Both of us were shocked, and immediately said, "No, thank you," as politely as we could. He said ok, and we parted ways, but it was so bizarre. He wasn't creepy, but the randomness of the situation made it creepy. We weren't sure whether he was asking us on a date, or soliciting us. Made for an amusing story, though.

So, kudos, dude, for actually walking up to a couple of girls and asking them out. Just work on that confidence level and the setting a little. You'll be unstoppable. :)

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week 6- Steven Stamkos

He's one of the leading scorers in the NHL... and he's not even 23. Pretty damn impressive, I think. Here's my case:

Tell me that you don't think he could take you. Any way.

He scores... a lot. That's sexy.

It's true. All he needs is a noble steed and a crown.

My Eyes Are Up Here

Every girl has dealt with it at some point. You're just minding your own business, and suddenly, you realize that some middle-aged, married man is ogling your boobs. So, here's my take on it.

I don't mind the staring, because as soon as I walk away I'm going to start talking about what a skeeze he was, and the more openly he does it, the funnier the story. That said, I don't stare at guys' neatly wrapped packages in public, and girls who do are called sluts by most people, so why is it ok for a man twice my age to stare at my chest? And, it's not just older men, it's the whole age spectrum from puberty on up. (Just to cover my ass, I'm aware that not every guy ogles women.)

Also, any guy I catch ogling is immediately in the red as far as attractiveness goes. Even the guys on my Unattainable list would become seriously less appealing because it's just tasteless.

My favorite story about this, though, is from when I was working in Disney World. My costume (uniform) was hideous and had an apron, so it didn't in any way accentuate my bust (which is rather large). I was running the register, and this boy (between ages 10-12) was ordering. My boobs were at eye level for him, and he never looked up from them. I was grinning, thinking about how I was going to tell my friends later, and then, the story got ten times better. His dad was staring at the exact same place his son was! It was priceless! It would have been a perfect internet meme.

So, in conclusion, fellas, feel free to keep staring... if that's as far as you ever want to get with a decent broad. And, ladies, laugh in their faces next time, and they'll be the ones embarrassed. Problem solved.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week Five- Ian Somerhalder


He's my favorite vampire. And he's a southern boy.

He was involved in the clean up effort in the Gulf of Mexico after the BP oil spill.

I can't help but melt for that cocky bastard smirk.

His eyes. They're beautiful.

Random Cute Guy Sighting

Cute, not hot, because I'm not sure if he's old enough for me to legally call him hot.

Anyway, I'm a hockey fan, so I go to the local team's games as often as I can. Now, I'm sure that I'll talk about the players at some point. Maybe to commemorate the last game of the season next week, but they aren't the focus of this post.

This post is dedicated to the Zamboni driver. He is adorable! The only downside to his good looks is that I can't tell how old he is. I've come to the conclusion that he must be between the ages of 16 and 26. I feel like he probably has to be at least over eighteen to drive that thing for insurance purposes, if not over 21, but he just looks so young. But, yeah, he's a cutie, and I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate it.

That Was Classy...

...Not So Much

Tonight, my friend and I had to pick some things up at Wal-Mart, and as we were walking back to my car, we passed the truck with window paint writing on the back window. I didn't pay any attention to it until she stared laughing and asked if I read it.

It said, "I'm single, hit me up," and had a phone number. Unfortunately, the owner was standing right there, otherwise, I would have collected photographic evidence. He was probably in his mid- to late-twenties, but I didn't really form an opinion on his attractiveness because I was trying not to get caught staring.

But, really, how desperate do you have to be? I'm sure he gets some classy responses.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week number 4's crush is Ryan Gosling. I've thought this one was adorable since Remember the Titans. I'll be honest, though, I've never seen The Notebook. And Drive made me want to be sick. But, hey, he's still really hot. Here are my reasons:

He broke up a street fight just because he could. That took balls.

He loves his dog. 

He used to be a Mouseketeer! Being a Disney addict, that makes him about a thousand times more attractive to me.

"Seriously!? It's like you're photo-shopped!" Thank you, I couldn't have said it better myself, Emma.

Random Year-old Single Rant

So, I was going through a notebook I used for school a couple of semesters ago, and I came across this rant that I wrote down while not paying attention in class. It made me laugh out loud at myself, so I hope you enjoy it, too.

I'm not learning anything in here. None of this makes any sense. 

Ugh. I'm going to be 21 years-old, and going to my cousin's wedding single. Dang it. How pathetic am I? I need a romantic relationship, stat. It's getting desperate. I mean, really? A felon? No, thanks, and no thank you, D-----, too. Someone attractive and acceptable needs to find me attractive and ask me out. Please and thank you. Because I'm sick of being single. I'm sick of being a strong, independent woman. I want romance. I want a relationship. I need affection and respect. And I need it and want it now. All wrapped up in a non-ugly, preferably ginger package with a great sense of humor and similar religious convictions. That not too much to ask, is it? Is it? He doesn't have to be ginger. He could have blond hair, or brown. And he doesn't have to be hot or drop-dead-gorgeous, just attractive to me. Although, I wouldn't turn a sexy, drop-dead kinda guy down. At this point, I think I'd even go out with N---, and I don't even think he's cute, and I do think he's a big bowl of crazy flakes. 

Everybody I went to high school with... I don't like that sentence. They're all gonna start getting married and having babies soon, and I'm still going to be single. I'm quickly becoming an old maid, and I'm not ok with that.

Why is Prince Charming taking so long? Did my frog prince get dissected? Or was my fish lost in the oil spill? At least, let me know he's out there somewhere. I'm too old to have never been kissed. For heaven's sake, even C------'s been kissed, and I'm much more pleasant to be with than she is. Aren't I? My people skills are very superior to hers. Right?

Honestly, how random can I be? The felon I'm referring to is one of two people, either this guy that I was convinced was a drug dealer or this guy that my friend wanted to set me up with who did drugs. Either way, not a great catch. D----- was a guy my dad's age that gave me his number, and N--- was a big bowl of crazy flakes.

It just cracks me up how nothing has changed. I'm still single, still making jokes about it, and still going to be the only one at my ten-year high school reunion without a ten year-old. Although, I'm ok with not having a four year-old right now.

Just thought I'd let you see what really goes on in my head. Hope it made you laugh.

I'm not Picky... Really...

There are several other people invested in my thus far fruitless search for a romantic partner. For example, I work with two girls who have made it their New Year's Resolution to find me a man. So, I often receive suggestions about this guy or that guy. And more often than not, I look at the guy they're suggesting and say, "Not for me."

This frustrates them to no end, and I've received countless lectures on how the perfect guy does not exist. So, this is a post in defense of myself and my picky behavior.

First off, I realize that having never even been on a date before, in many peoples' opinions, I should accept any offer I'm given gratefully, but I refuse to become the desperate, do-anything-for-a-man girl that goes psycho and boils a rabbit halfway through the movie. So no, I will not accept bottom-feeders, here defined as a) men old enough to be my father, b) men who make less money than I do, c) men who spend all their money on alcohol, cigarettes, illicit drugs, etc. d) any combination of the above, or e) all of the above.

Then there's the problem of where a particular guy might fit into my life. I am a college student working retail full-time. I only intend to be living in Alabama for another two years tops. So, a relationship with someone established and unwilling to relocate would have a shelf-life. That's a problem. And if he was willing to relocate, would he want to relocate when I did, or do the long distance thing? Would I want him to relocate with me, or do I want to enter the adult world on my own two feet? Would he want to get married before relocating? I realize that most of those questions wouldn't come up on a first date, but you can see where it could quickly become an issue in the relationship if he were to try to talk me into staying, or we were racing to get serious before the move. So, there's reason two that I shake my head at a guy: he seems too attached to north Alabama.

 Reason three is simple: I don't find him at all physically appealing. I'm not looking for some guy out of GQ, just someone that I might look at and think, "Yeah, I might like to sleep with that at some point in the future." Also, it's important to admit that I like what I call odd beauty. Something a little different about a guy's looks that makes him unique. And, I have kind of a thing for redheads. Having red hair doesn't make a guy cute, but it does make a cute guy cuter.

The fourth thing is that he seems to be going nowhere. He's happy just drifting along without any dreams or aspirations beyond beating COD for the millionth time. Me, I'm ambitious; I have dreams. If I were in a relationship with someone who wasn't, I know that I would constantly be nagging him about what he was planning to do next, or when he was going to do this or that. He would resent me, I would resent him. It's just my personality type.

No rednecks. One of my friends at work (let's name them Model and Married), Married, keeps telling me I need to find a country guy because I'm a country girl. What she doesn't realize is the being from the country and being redneck are two different things, so when she sees a redneck come in, she says, "What about him?" Now, I'm not against dating someone from the boondocks; I've lived my whole life in the sticks, but the difference is the amount of class. Yes, rednecks can be great guys, but that type is just not for me. i'm more of an indoors kind of girl. (Not that I won't go fishing/hiking/whatever, I just don't want to make a lifestyle of it.) Basically, if Jeff Foxworthy would classify you as a redneck, I'm not interested.

Also, no assholes. I'll be the first one to admit I can be a bitch, but I don't make a habit of it. So, I don't want to date an ass. Rudeness is unacceptable. And someone who is nice to me, but rude to the waitress is a Class A Asshat.

So, if that makes me picky, then I'm picky, but I won't apologize.

Random Hot Guy Sighting

At out local mall, there's a hippie-dippie-trippie store that has all sorts of weird junk. There's a really, really, really, REALLY cute/hot/want-to-jump-him-sexy guy that works there. He's tall, has long, beautiful white-blonde hair, and has cheek piercings. Just thought you should know.

Unattainable Crush of the Week

Week Three- Taylor Kitsch


He's Tim Riggins, Gambit, and now, he's John Carter. Those three roles should be reason enough, but in case you need more persuading:

He looks good with sexy, dirty, long hair, and he looks good with sexy, short, "grown up" hair.

The smoldering look is HOT! 

Really? Do I need a reason to go along with this picture, or can we just agree?

So go see this movie on March 9th. it was a really, really, really good book, and I'm hoping they didn't ruin it. But even if they did, he's shirtless for pretty much the whole thing, so isn't it worth it?